Only to have them enter the corporate world and find out that they are not special – they are expendable. They can easily be replaced, and noone is really special.
Isn’t it just a setup for disaster? I remember being told that I was "special" when I was young. That we all had unique gifts and talents, and we all mattered.
But now, I am in the corporate meat grinder, and when the rubber meets the road, I am constantly reminded that I’m not special – I’m EXPENDABLE, replaceable, and I’m lucky to even have a job.
Why didn’t they just tell me that in school so I would be ready for it? Why all the lies?
I appreciate the answers so far, but I think I may have missed the real point :
why do we have to treat people like they are worthless and expendable in the corporate world? I am not saying we need to coddle employees, or give them "Carebear" treatment. But is it any wonder people go back to jobs they quit or were fired from with guns and shoot the places up. Hey – everyone there is expendable, right??? Isn’t there something wrong with that mindframe? If we treat people as if they are expendable, why are we surprised when they act that way?
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Everyone is special and unique that is why there are so many reality tv shows. Everyone is expendable that is why I believe be involved in sports at a young age is important. Children are faced with the fact that if they don’t do their job right they are expendable. Failure happens and you do not die. These are valuable lessons for everyone. They also learn to work as a team and even if you do not win you can show improvement.
I think that there is nothing wrong with building children’s esteem but you can do with tact and honesty as well. You don’t have to tell vicious lies or truths.
Educational institutions are set up mainly to educate not to crush a child’s spirit. Heck you have bullies for that sort of thing.
I think in the earlier years of education they tell you these things to develop self-confidence, I do believe that at some point they need to emphasize the importance of marketing yourself well b/c there are only but so many jobs and the truth is without making yourself standout you will only be part of a quota that needs to be filled.
I honestly think that all this carebear, nambypamby you’re special and talented talk is actually damaging. Sure it builds their self-esteem but honestly, what good is their self-esteem going to do for them in the real world. The real world doesn’t care about your self-esteem.
For instance, baseball teams that allow the little kids to play even if they’re terrible. It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, it’s how you play the game… well build up their hopes and dreams and it’s going to blow up in high school when they try out and they’re told no bueno. Or they get on the team, they get to wear the uniform but guess who doesn’t get to play. Then you get to college or professional sports and they don’t even get looked at.
I went to a private school and my teachers didn’t care about my self-esteem. I had to EARN my grades and I had to EARN my praise. If they told me I was talented or smart, it was because I WAS. If I wasn’t… they would say it, as well. Kids need a healthy dose of reality these days. That’s what’s wrong with them. Parents and teachers are coddling them until they get into the real world and then they find out it’s not all hugs and cherries.
Don’t make the mistake of letting the corporate world define you. Who you are really and what you have to offer is not wrapped up in the world of work. One philosophy I live by is this: The job I have is only one of the means I employ to make it possible to do and be who I really am. You are the determiner of what you’re worth!
Well, luckily not everyone choose the corporate world. Your parents were right to tell you that you were special because to them you were.
Then I am not sure why but you choose the corporate world but you can still leave to be your own boss and then you will be special again, like some of us.
BTW I am not "lucky enough to have a job" I usually grab jobs by the b@lls and that’s not by luck but by merit. I fear no one. I am not sure about being expendable, I am definitely not "digestable" even if they tried
I think there is positive reinforcement of your good work and over indulgence. they are different. People give their kids big heads and never have them be held accountable for themselves and their failures to learn by. Theres nothing wrong with encouraging if the person puts forth the effort. In chicago, the public schools are paying the dumb unmotivated students for A B C grades. That is outrageous. they will never learn the value of doing something important for bettering themselves and their lives. everything will be based on what OTHER PEOPLE PAY YOU FOR. SHAME!
You NEVER hurt your children by saying they are important and special. I don’t know why you folded out in the world. Or why you gave up. That is not the fault of your parents. You should stand strong and believe in yourself. Would you tell your children their expendable?
I was never talked to like that and i turned out fine, or if i was i dont even remember it. So its not like it makes a difference.
Yup, I’d tell my kids the truth, "The world hates you and does not want to see you get ahead, no ones going to do you any favors, Its every man for himself,Its a fight the minute your born", and so on.
yes. there was a study saying how kids who think they are smart will give up easier and become upset or frustrated when presented with a problem above their level. Kids who were encouraged instead to work hard, tried harder when presented with the same problem and succeeded more.
EDIT: ok your question is why don’t we show respect at work to employees: The answer is greed. You get better results by scaring workers to work hard to keep their jobs, and the absolute truth is, you are in fact replaceable, especially in a turbulent economy like we have today. A good manager will not remind you about this too often however, unless you are truly dropping the ball. Maybe your boss is just a jerk.
Think about it this way: Giving a raises and bonuses gives excellent incentive to work, BUT costs money. Giving praise without a raise costs nothing, but actually makes employees want to work less, since they think they are underpaid if everyone tells them they are doing a great job. Scare tactics still incentivises people to work hard, but costs nothing!
Also, you are right, its a crime to not tell people what to expect of work, but hopefully, when you have kids, you will let them know about the awful truth. I had no older siblings or friends and my parents were immigrants so i had the same experience as you. You just have to be able to persevere
Sorry kiddo, the world is a tough place. That’s why you have to be your own boss
wow, jaded!!!
i think you would hurt them if you didnt tell them they were special and unique.
Boo-Hoo.
"I’m not special – I’m EXPENDABLE, replaceable, and I’m lucky to even have a job."
It certainly sounds like you convinced yourself.
We believe what we are told over and over and over, so yes, it is important to tell your children they are special and important so that they believe it.
My hat is off to you for asking this question. I think that the way things are being handled in school is not helping the future generations at all. Not only are all the children being called special and important (which yes, it is important to feel accepted and such, but keep it at home), but there are actually schools that ban tag because of the stigma of being ‘it’. I learned at a young age that I wasn’t automatically accepted as a valuable member of a team, that i had to earn that right, and now kids think that everything is handed to them. I’m almost scared to see what will happen when these kids reach adulthood.
You are so right. I saw a new special the other day where graduates feel that if you don’t treat them right from the begining of their employment they’ll leave the job because they’re so special that someone else will jump right at them. I laughed when I heard this concept young people have because it’s not the employers pocket book being impacted it’s YOURS! I do tell my kids that they’re good kids, and have special talents blah-blah-blah, but when they don’t do the homework right or the chores right, I let them know that it is inefficient performance and at this time I would be terminating your employment. They need to know that’s what will happen at work!
The "Self Esteem" movement has ruined a couple generations.
Some of these kids find out life is tough, run into obstacles, and just can’t handle it. Re: Columbine.
They graduate from college, expecting the world to fall into their laps. As an employer I see it all the time. They don’t want to start at the bottom and LEARN the business.
Being proud of your kid is one thing. Setting them up to fail because they can’t grasp how tough the real world is, is another.
I wouldn’t go to the extreme of telling kids that they’re not special because every human being is unique. However, I do believe that schools are coddling the kids too much these days. They are being led to believe that everyone gets awards/recognition and that there are no losers. Guess what, everyone can’t win all of the time.
Yes, I think it can hurt kids when they earn trophies "just for participating" and nonsense like that.
I *completely* relate with how you’re feeling: "… constantly reminded that I’m not special – I’m EXPENDABLE, replaceable, and I’m lucky to even have a job."
But I still have the drive to be special, if not in my work life, to my family and people who tell me I’m special to them.
It is NOT a lie to tell people that they are special, because we all are. The business world (including the entertainment world) appears to want to make money at ANY cost. It’s about greed.
But the value of the replaced employee hasn’t changed. We’re not here to just get a job, make money, impress people, hoard up things, etc. Man’s primary reason for having unique gifts and talents in the first place are to serve God’s purpose, not people. That is to love Him and become like Him in character. He’s made and owns everything visible and invisible for His pleasure.
This purpose is about NOT religion, but about relationship, which not only affects this life, but eternity as well. When our relationship is right with God by accepting Jesus Christ, He brings us favor with others, and presents us opportunities we can’t always see, for His pleasure.
We are all unique, therefore, one answer will not work for all. I know I was raised by parents that basically told us, that we weren’t really special. They also told us that we wouldn’t be going to college because they couldn’t afford to send four girls to college. Therefore, we figured we would grow up and get married and have kids. My sisters and I have low self esteems. A low self esteem affects a person in negative ways in their life. For example, when interviewing for a job, or job promotion. I would rather a person have a good self esteem. They must also have a good SURVIVAL instinct or determination, so that they won’t give up the first time a situation doesn’t go their way. I tell my kids, if something is meant to be, it will happen. If something doesn’t happen the way they want it to, it wasn’t meant to be, and there is probably something better for them in their future.