I ask this in M&D because I don’t want answers from a bunch of 12 year olds.
Anyway, we know you men are visual creatures and you choose your mate based mostly on how she looks, so why don’t you admit that? Why do you lie and try to say her personality is most important and looks come in last? You’re not fooling nobody.
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Because men think that they should feed you what you want to hear. But it’s really not what we want. It’s the instinct to lie.
Looks are what initially attracts us but it’s personality that keeps us there.
Looks are important.
Nuff said
That is what brings us to your web, and how you roll your web is whether we stay or leave.
looks only take you so far. personality is very important. i know plenty of attractive girls that i would pass up in a second because i find them disgusting due to personality issues.
Mebo has my vote for best answer! Hit the nail on the head.
As we go through life there is what we’d *like* to have and what we’ll actually *accept*.
Looks are a big part of what gets us to nibble on the bait.
Whether or not we bite and get hooked depends far more on how you make us feel. Looks become less important as men mature.
We’re not lying. BOYS focus only on looks. MEN like women who are at least vaguely attractive but really simply take care of themselves.
Oh – and don’t give me any BS about you not caring if guys are hot.
I guess it largely depends on how you define "mate"? "Mate" as in the local bimbo whore bag I’d like to have sex with but in the end I wouldn’t marry and have a long term relationship? Ya "looks are the most important" in that regards.
If by "mate", you mean "wife" material? Sorry, looks will get you into one miserable marriage if that is all you’re after. Most women who are THAT attractive know it and their personality leaves little to like. I’d take an "average" woman, with a good personality and who knows how to treat their husbands.
I would also point out though that just because we are visual creatures doesn’t mean we always narrowly define "beauty" by what the magazines show us. Our sexuality is often tied to visual stimulus but is is the female naked form, how the woman moves, and how she acts in the sack (often with confidence) that is more important than actual PURE attractiveness.
When it comes to the bed-room and pure lust, I’d rather have that slightly plump sexual goddess in the bedroom screaming my name at the top of her lungs than someone that looks like Angelina Jolie who lays their like a lump of coal.
At first, looks ARE important to us. However, once you get into the "knowing each other" stage, then looks become less important. I will admit that men would prefer a beautiful girl with (fill in the blank) hair and a "full figure". However, if we have a girl with the "looks" but she is a total high maintenance b****, then we kick ourselves and say, "Why did I do this?"
You’re right, men are very visual. My boyfriend told me a couple months ago that the only reason he asked for my phone number when we met at a party is because I’m nice to look at! He only found out after spending time with me that I’m quite brilliant as well. I thought it was pretty funny, while a bit offensive at the same time.
Initially, it’s the physical that attracts them, but it’s not enough to sustain a relationship. That’s why men leave pretty shallow girls to marry average-looking smart girls…but they really could just tell the truth about it.
Why do men lie?? Women are the BIGGEST LIARS when listing how they choose their mates. Women are the first to say personality is most important but you know this isn’t true or else those women would have at least 5 or 6 dates per day. How else would she distinguish who she’d go out with and who she wouldn’t give the time of the day to? How else would she determine who’s number to take and who’s to give her’s to? The only sure fire way to know a person’s personality is to literally know them. So what about those who claim love at first sight? Or, what about those women who won’t date a man with run over shoes or with dirty fingernails or with no car or with no money? I know plenty of women like that.. and these same women will be the first to not care about looks but about personality.
On the flipside, guys who go for looks, will at least tell you they’re going for looks. Women fake far more than men do when talking about men.
I am an attractive woman…but my boyfriend could get someone prettier than me if he wanted to.
It’s not all about looks and sex…at least not when they are mature.
Looks are very important.
But once when a NEW CAR beat me out, looks was not everything any more.
look, im 14 years old and i tell you that i prefere a girl that is good inside that it is in the outside. i mean, of course that the outside is important to me too but i prefere to date a girl that is good inside and like me not because of my body but because of how i am, i dont like the hot girls that just want sex and just talk to me because of my body!
Men are visual and they like what they see, that is correct. All men view beauty in a bit different light (beauty is in the eye of the beholder). Yes, they tend to look at beauty but they really want is that connection. The connection paired with that feeling – that attraction – is what they need, want and will wait for. They mostly don’t realize what they want – they just know it when they ‘see’ it (feel it). Good luck.
We choose partners who attract us the most. But that’s just the beginning part. I don’t care how hot she is, if the personality is bad enough, she will not last. What really makes the difference in the long term is personality. If looks were all that mattered to us, you wouldn’t be finding ugly married women. But I assure you there are tons (literally).
I don’t lie about it. Women are the same, too.
Because you don’t like it when we say we like you for your a** more than for your sparkling personality. But then you don’t like it when we say you like us more for our fat wallets than our sparkling personalities.
Well actually, I believe men are also taught to say that ‘personality’ thing through education, reading, friends etc. They think it’s the right thing to do. And honestly, often us girls/women just want to hear what we need to hear.
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I must tell you that I’m a 35 yr old man. I totally disagree with people who think the hot girls that just want sex for his body. any people can blessed with a girl friend half his age. I hope he can make her happy.
I agree that. Looks are very important.
Brilliant post, beautifully written…
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Interesting article and also interesting comments. I think that in the first instance of meeting someone for men and women, looks play a big part. After that it comes down to more as to whether you will stay together.
Men are mainly referring to their macho status. But not all men are like that. Many guys here are men enough to say those words, but deep down inside men too are ultra sensitive. I guess am one of them. Some guys even cry when they feel they are heartbroken but time would judge and the loss they felt would gradually turn them into stone so, while men generally are maturing so is their feelings. Looks can be deceiving…
Yeah… What you said is absolutely right. Men always have a tendency to impress a woman and show a proud front, a man will often exaggerate, distort, or delete certain truths. In my opinion they may have a fear that by telling the truth the woman will evaluate solely from her point-of-view and not consider his side of the story. And I order to avoid the emotional chain reaction of the truth, he tend to lie. These are the lies that women let pass and happily accept as truths even though they know these are complete lies. But I will tell you one thing, yeah of course women are worried about their looks. But she gave more importance to trust. By telling lies you are breaking that trust!
I agree 100%. When ppl say personality is #1, I cringe. It comes down to the following scenarios:
1) Girl is Pretty, Girl has Attitude > Will Date, NOT Marry
2) Girl is Pretty, Girl is Nice > Will Date, Will Marry
3) Girl is Ugly, Girl has Attitude > Will Not Date, Will NOT Marry
4) Girl is Ugly, Girl is Nice > Will Not Date, Will NOT Marry.
And I think ‘personality’ is the wrong word to use. It’s more like… agreeableness. Someone who doesn’t complain, and isn’t negative.
I could care less if she has humor, is interesting, has same interests as me, has style, etc… By personality, I look for agreeableness and maybe compassion. But everything else is FLUFF. Just gimme the looks damn it, u dun have that, u missing 90%
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I agree with your words…Everybody lies. It’s a universal human characteristic. Whether you’re a good person who’ll tell a lie not to hurt your friend’s feelings, to a cheating spouse, to spies and superheroes, we lie. But we all wish no one would lie to us.
It is the guy’s mentality to brag something and to do something. Similarly, just like that they will say that “I want a partner whose behavior should be good and next only her looks”. But they will do exactly opposite to this. But there are few exceptions too. Some guys with conscience are there “ who will do what they say”. An ideal example for this is my brother!
I think the initial attraction for men probably is pyhsical but in terms of taking things further then its certainly personality, compatabiliy and all that sort of thing. And in any case not everyone is the same and not all men lie just as all women dont tell the truth.
Looks are the most important thing for men because, let’s face it, men want what they don’t have. Most men are HIDEOUS, physically. I am talking about seeing men and throwing up a little in mouth because they are so repulsive. I am talking about wearing sunglasses to avoid seeing them clearly in the light of day and to keep me from looking directly into the sun and burning my retinas to avoid having to see that level of fucking ugly. I digress…
They don’t have personalities either. Hence it is second requirement on their list.
See a pattern here…
Smart is almost @ the bottom of he list because most men think they a geniuses. Funny would also be near the bottom. As Christopher Hitchens said in Vanity Fair – “Women don’t need to be funny. Men do. That is the only way they will get a woman. Women just aren’t that funny.”
So if you aren’t genetically and socially popular, YOU ARE SCREWED. Might as well be REALLY smart and be as mean to men as you want. I am talking , make them cry, leave no burning embers mean. They aren’t gonna be nice to you anyway no matter what your personality is like.
As the rap song rhymes “It’s like that. And that’s the way it is.”